Playboy Playmates on Sexy models, Mina Stefan

One year ago this very week, kids, TheSmokingJacket posted its most iconic gallery, a Welcome-to-the-site collection of pictures of Playmate Kimberly Phillips wearing a smoking jacket and lingerie.
367 days later, TSJ is going stronger than ever. We’d give each and every one of you a slice of birthday cake but in our experience cake does not travel well via mail.

This is better anyway — a slice of birthday cheesecake, one of your favorite girls, miss Mina Stefan, putting on her own Smoking Jacket smokeshow.

There’s nothing like lounging around like a magazine magnate — if you and your lady truly live a life of leisure and pleasure you should suit up appropriately. The Playboy Store has Mina’s robe here and the self-explanatory Hef Robe here. In honor of TSJs birthday (or so they told us) both are 15% off.
Mina’s robe, incidentally, is called the “Playmate Robe.” Mina Stefan… Playboy Playmate? It sure has a nice ring to it. It sounds like… victory.

See More Her Sexy Photos gallery Here

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Waking Up with a Smile on Her Face

Your mom had a very similar motto to that of Mel Bernstein, the crooked cop in Scarface who said “You should smile more, Tony. Every day above ground is a good day.” Each morning she bounded out of bed, threw open the curtains and stretched in the sunlight, ready to attack the day with joy and aplomb. After, of course, she slipped out of her night shirt (not your grandmother’s night shirt, that’s for damn sure) and took a shower.
That’s why we often showed up at your house at ungodly early hours, often at the crack of dawn. Not because we were in a hurry to get to school or that we couldn’t wait to watch Saturday morning cartoons with you. It was because your mom was hot!

Model: Miss August 1973 Phyllis Coleman

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Victoria’s Secret Angels have Fantasies [VIDEO]

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We’ve had quite a few fantasies involving Victoria’s Secret Angels Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima and Erin Heatherton.

There was the one where Adriana Lima was our history teacher, but history was a bit different to how we remember it being in real school. We woke up absolutely convinced that Barney the Friendly Dinosaur discovered America, Frankie Sandford from The Saturdays assassinated Hitler having honed her skills on Call of Duty, and Kelly Brook scored a decisive hat-trick in the 1966 World Cup Final. Turns out Adriana Lima isn’t the best history teacher. That’s probably why she jacked that in and became an Angel. Good career move, Adriana Lima. After all, everyone knows it was Mollie King from The Saturdays.

The Gruffalo snuck up unnoticed
Then there was the fantasy involving Erin Heatherton, in which everything she touched turned to M&M’s. It was incredible, at first. We’d be walking hand in hand through the park, when she’d deftly brush a small tree with her spare hand, and it would collapse into a generous pile of multicoloured but all tasting exactly the same and whoever says otherwise is a complete moron tasty treats. We’d both dive in head first, swallowing the chocolatey pills of deliciousness, until one got lodged and we started choking. After a while, having everything turned into M&M’s became a bit of a drag, particularly when our puppy jumped up onto Erin's lap and she stroked it. It’s really bloody hard to play fetch with a dog-shaped mound of M&M’s, let us tell you.

DOG MURDERER
As for Candice Swanepoel, well, quite near the end of the above video, at about 1:56, she asks “what are your Victoria’s Secret Fantasies?” Haven’t you been listening, Candice Swanepoel? HAVEN’T YOU? Not being rude, but if you’re not going to pay attention, we’re not going to waste our time telling you about our fantasies. Sheesh.

Push pineapple shake a tree
By the way, what the hell happens at 1:18? Adriana Lima seems to be possessed by some kind of love-monster.
Yes, we want to be that love-monster.

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Irina Shayk sexy video

 

If you weren’t one of the many guys who voted for Irina Shayk, then she may be a relatively unfamiliar name to you. It might even prove to be pretty troublesome for some to pronounce (‘Eye-reen-ah Shy-eek’ is basically what you’re after, pronunciation fans).But don’t worry too much about that, because what you really need to know is this: the 25-year-old Russian – who’s currently keeping Cristiano Ronaldo occupied when he isn’t either diving or shooting from 45 yards – has been photographed a lot whilst traipsing around in just a bikini in the past year. And that generally leads to good things. Like being your second-highest new entry in this year’s countdown. And thinking about her not wearing very much. Very often.

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Kama Sutra, Sex Position 6: Stand and Deliver

Best for couples of similar height, it’s unlikely Crouch and Clancy dedicate too much sexy time to this one. But if you can handle the angles, you’ll be rewarded with the kind of screams usually reserved for the Liverpudlian faithful as Crouchy slots one in the back of the net.

As intimate and personal as sex gets, your girl literally stands while you deliver with the added bonus of plenty of snogging, staring into each others’ eyes and the opportunity to get to grips with her bum and its infinite delights. The natural pressure this position exerts on her clitoris should also have her climaxing in record time, ensuring you are indeed the man.

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Kama Sutra, Sex Position 5: Raised Missionary

The prime position for holding eye-to-eye contact, it may not sound like much initially but according to most women the eyes are the windows to the soul, or something. Maintain that eye contact with meaning while sending it deep and in her emotionally adrenalised state who knows what other filth she’ll suddenly let you indulge in.

With back arched and all her weight on her heels and shoulders, you’re in perfect position to take total control and dominate her. It also leaves your hands to feel, fondle and fornicate the majesty of her breasts in complete freedom. Excellent.

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Kama Sutra, Sex Position 4: Deep Dish

Nothing to do with the American doyens of dance who go by the same name this position will have you doing most of the work, but unlike your nine to five grind, it’s well worth the rewards.

With the missus on her back, legs akimbo and her ankles firmly in your grasp, the view is nothing short of spectacular. And with gravity on your side you’re in total control to vary speed, rhythm, penetration and thus the quality of your performance and both your orgasms.

Tease her for hours and make her come like crazy or sort yourself out sharpish and make sure you’re done in time for Match of the Day. Either way, you’re onto a winner.

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Kama Sutra, Sex Position 3: Lazy Doggie

As simple as no strings shagging can get, the Lazy Doggie is the perfect morning after the night before activity. She lies down, you lie on top of her and the magic happens.

All women love this position, as it’s apparently sensuous and slow and makes your man meat feel like an elephant’s leg with a pumpkin atop. It also leaves room for a little improv with your moves – the standard bump and grind is fine, but try some figure of eight hip action for guaranteed ultra-deep penetration and the kind of orgasm usually reserved for Christmases and birthdays.

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Kama Sutra, Sex Position 2: Reverse Spoon

While it may look trickier than tying a knot with no thumbs, The Reverse Spoon is actually a one-way ticket to simple sex made sordid and stupendous.

Lying head to toe and side by side offers immediate benefits in the staring at and fondling her nethers department – a bonus for you both, and don’t let her forget it – while simultaneously showing off your experimental credentials.

The kind of position you can only dream of ending up in after a booze-fuelled game of Twister. Just remember to wash your feet first, unless you’re a ‘socks on’ kind of guy, that is.

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Kama Sutra Sex Positions Part 1 : The ButterFly

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